Tuesday, April 23, 2013

KBTuesday: September 10th, 2001

Do you remember where you were the day before? It's okay if you don't. I have a good reason to remember. It was my first day at my new position, Store Manager of the Waltham KBToys. Prior to that I worked at the Arsenal Mall in Watertown. Yeah, that Arsenal Mall. Let me tell you how shocked I was when I turned on the TV Friday morning to see my Governor holding a Press Conference in front of the Arsenal Mall.

My Grandmother was a Rosie the Riveter at that very building during World War II. It was a weapons factory, an actual Arsenal. And I spent nearly a year working there.

I met the Best-Man at my Wedding working there.

We fixed and epic shrink problem there, very quickly.

I found Watertown to be so nice that I used it's local sole-proprietor Comic Book Shop from the month I started there until everything fell apart in my life financially in Aug/Sept of 2007.

Watertown has a very large Armenian population. So large that if someone's name ends in -ian it was a safe assumption that they are Armenian. I had friend/co-worker at the time who after 9/11 started telling people he was Puerto Rican. Like the vast majority of Armenians he was Christian.  But he had a strange name and "looked Middle Eastern".

Now I never lived there, but I knew that town, and it's people.

I will share more stories from my time at Watertown in the future. But for now we'll focus on the day before.

I remember my first day on the job as a Store Manager. I had the Store Manager that trained me in the store with me, and we got a phone call.  It was from our Planner. The guy the decides what stuff gets shipped to me to sell. The phone was handed to me and he asked me about Pokemon Coins. Yes, coins.

These things, packaged awkwardly in a CD Jewel case. And yes, all you got were the three coins. I have no idea how they played with them. There was a set game with rules included.  I was fascinated by Pokemon but always stayed on the sidelines. (Except for that horrible incident where I got the entire management staff and half the other employees  at the Natick store addicted to the original Red/Blue GameBoy games.) Anyway the Planner saw that the Waltham store was actually selling the damn things. I had seen the district sales reports and knew that they were! They taunted us in Watertown and no kid seemed interested in them. I cannot remember the price point of the dumb things.  So he called and we talked about how for some reason they were selling in Waltham. He told me they really weren't selling anywhere else in the region (basically New England, New York and New Jersey). He asked if I wanted to take a large number of them, I said Sure! He asked if I wanted an awfully large number of them, I said why not. He then admitted he wanted to dump the entire quantity of them in our warehouse on my store. I ended up taking 2 gross case of them. Yes, 288 cases, 12 in a case.

Oh how they haunted my entire 7 month existence at that store. And they did sell, but not fast enough. When the store closed in April/May of the next year, to make way for the Panera Bread still there today, we still had some left. Those fuckers got transferred to Medford. Where the lunatic that ran the store, who would in the future be the best-man at my wedding, gleeful took them.

Thanks for reading,
your favorite blogger that remembers where they were the day before,

Friday, April 12, 2013

Bad Idea: Daily Show vs Fresh Air

I have a stalker. She is a brilliant woman who loves science, is intelligent, and an extremely interesting writer. But her latest book is creepy as hell and I can't get away from it!


She wrote this book, Gulp, about the entire human digestive system. From mouth and saliva to fecal transplants. FECAL TRANSPLANTS! I just ate lunch when I heard this conversation about fecal transplants on Fresh Air. And later that same day, when I got home from work, she was on The Cycle on MSNBC, and that damn night she was on The Daily Show!

Now I had calmed down about this subject, but guess who was on Science Friday today? Mary "Gross Out" Roach. I'll be heading out Tuesday morning to get a restraining order! (Monday is a local holiday so I have to wait all weekend, but I will Flatus all over this woman!) So help me God if she's on Top Gear next week!

Her appearance on Science Friday reminded me of an idea she inspired. After the day she stalked me and my digestive system, I began to notice that Fresh Air and The Daily Show tend to have a massive overlap of guests. I'd put it at 75%-80% chance that within a week of a person appearing on one of the shows, they will appear on the other.  And I began to think of the formats of the shows and differing interview styles of Terry Gross and Jon Stewart.

I realized that there a ton of material for either mash-up interviews or to make fun of one or both of them based on the wicked obvious things one asked that the other missed. Or we can do the Weird Al style of interview with intercuts from a Jon Question to a Terry Answer.

We could play a game I'd call Which one of them Actually Read the Book? (Answer will almost always be neither.)

We could compare who's the better salesperson. Who got me more interested in buying the book.

We could rate the brown-nosing. Who did a better job making the guest seem cooler/smarter/better than they really are.

The list of ideas and spin-offs is endless.

I think Terry Gross would be a much better foil to Jon Stewart than Glenn Beck was. She'd be an exercise in him going up in weight class, vs the cheap shots he typically takes.

If I had minions, they'd be going through Fresh Air and Daily Show archives right now.

Thanks for reading,
Your favorite "I was really bothered by this" blogger,

PS- As always with ideas of this nature: If you have some money, get in touch! I'd really like to do this.

Monday, April 1, 2013

I'm gonna be (500 Miles)

Music Monday:

This week's song to get stuck in your co-worker's  heads is I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) from a movie that did not at all stand the test of time Benny and Joon.

Thanks for reading,
the blogger you'd walk 500 miles for (to kill because thing song was stuck in your head the entire time_,

PS- I really did think of possibly using a Phillip Glass song or another song that would not at all get stuck in your head.  Then I decided that this gag is a weekly April's Fools joke, so it would be wisest to leave it alone.