Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Furby 2012

KB Tuesday: 

Return of Fucking Furby


This is a nightmare I never thought I'd witness.  I truly did not even think this would or could happen.  I am lost and helpless right now.  Please send immediate psychiatric assistance, because the Furby is coming back.

I started working at KayBee Toys in October of 1998. And it was the year of Furby.  I got to witness aspects of human nature that disturb me to this day. Obsession and greed for an item that no one ever figured out how to use. I'll never forget the day the FedEx guy came in with 3 cases of the dumb things and someone had ripped a corner off one of the boxes to steal one. They really did try to make it seem look like no one would notice, but a whole corner of a box that should contain twelve of these things was beat to hell.  It was that day I realized how mad people became over these super-hyped Xmas toys.

The problem with these toys was the way the companies gamed the system. They would deliberately under produce the item to create an artificial demand. Then after Xmas they would flood the market to appease all the parents that failed their children at Xmas. Easter became a gift giving holiday for the parents to make up for a failed xmas and for manufactures to clear house for the next xmas build up. It was a brilliant but vicious cycle.

The new Furby has some no brainer advancements, like an iphone App and improved animitronics.  It still speaks that stupid Furbish language.  And lastly they have replaced the creepy animitronic googly eyes, with even creepier LCD Screens. The thing has LCD Screens for eyes.  It does not video well (duh!) and I can only imagine the nightmares these kids will have because of it. And I cannot wait for some trolling asshole to  reprogram a Furby's Eyes to show porn.



The original Furby had the electronic equivalent insides of an Atari 2600. I'm assuming the new one will be around PSX level tech.  The price tag is about $60, compared to the original's ~$40. Not bad considering this will be a massive improvement over the original.

This will be a middle of the road toy this year. Parents will be desperate to buy something that is not a video game for their kids, and Hasbro has managed to capture whatever appeal the original had. It won't be the blockbuster but sad as it is to say, Furby Lives.

Thanks for reading,
Your favorite Furby Smashing Blogger,
Pip

PS- Oh yes, some co-workers and I went Office Space on a demo Furby one day.

PPS- Dear gods do not let Teletubbies come back. I won;t be able to handle that.
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