Sunday, April 25, 2010

Werner Herzog read Where's Waldo

Werner Herzog speaks with the most awesome German accented English ever.  Filed under people I could listen to reading a phone book (Mommy, what's a phone book?).

I have to admit I have a small obsession with Where's Waldo.  I am in no less than 2 Where's Waldo-esque pictures.  I had a Where's Dan Quayle book while in High School.

Thanks for Reading!
Your Favorite Blogger,

ps - Just over 30k.

One Sentence Movie Review: Kick-Ass

Best movie death scene ever.

Like that one?  If you've seen the movie you are in "Right On!" mode, and if you haven't seen the movie, you are intrigued.  I am getting the hang of this blogging thing.  Now for lots of words.  Remember, if you want this to actually be a One Sentence Movie Review, it is up to you to exercise some restraint and stop reading.  Blogging blasphemy #1, telling readers to go away.  But there it is.  Don't criticize me for being a hypocrite and a liar when it's your fault you are still reading.  I put it in bold, and told you to stop.  Beyond that, I am no longer liable for reading addiction.

I have not read the comic, so I cannot compare the two.  I can say that the movie stands on it's own merits and works.  And those that have read the comic are split, some like one more, others like the other more.  But the fact is the core of the comic remains in tact.  If you like one, you will like the other.  Neither takes away from the other.

This is possibly the most violent mainstream American Movie ever.  Although the body count and blood count, in pints, is higher in Kill Bill, this movie was more violent.    Basically Hit Girl is the Bride's daughter raised on the most violent video games.   I will also argue the end battle with Hit Girl vs Everyone is the best one person assault on a heavily guarded Assassination Target ever.  Better than the first scene in X-men 2, which is still an amazing scene and a display of how to properly use computer effects.

I was expecting violence and kids using obscene language, and at one point my jaw hit the floor in shock.  I doubt you can be prepared for how far this movie goes.  I am not bothered by it, but am greatly concerned with the cheap clones that will follow, and that the line has been moved.  Hearing one little girl girl say the word cock casually is enough for me thank you.  Hollywood does not understand the word enough though.  So this door has been opened, and Kick Ass is solely to be blamed.

Over at Nerdcore, Rene talked about how the movie lacked a depth in characterization that the comic book had.  The Hit Girl cried at the end and asked for a hug, like a little girl, or any child that age, would.  I don't blame the movie for this, it's part of the what makes movies what they are.  They are limited, there is only so much time, and not every movie can be a three and a half hour epic.   Normally this is where I'd insert my rant about how weak and flawed movies are, and how our obsession with them limits and hurts American culture, and that we need more mini-series.  But that does not apply here.  The shock value, properly executed in this movie, would not work in a mini-series.  You would already be adjusted to it by the time Hit Girl finally gets hurt and that scene would lose it's impact.

One thing I like is that the movie touches upon something everyone who reads comics knows, but hates to admit: It always gets absurd.  It has to.  Once a costume is added, absurdity is guaranteed.  No matter how hard the writer tries to keep it gritty and real, a costume launches any story to ridiculousness and it cannot be stopped.

With the strength of the current 3d fad and blu-ray obsession, this movie works as a movie.  Sure 3D would have worked, and it will look great in blu-ray, but it's not needed to enjoy it.  They remembered to tell a story, beginning middle and end!   And that is important, sadly.

I really liked this movie, and am impressed it got made.  But Hollywood will try and fail to copy it and top it.  A gag like this works once in a while, not on overdose.

If you like comic books, violence, swearing, and things done to shock, go see this movie.  Otherwise stay home, you won't get it and will sound really old when you talk about it.  Yeah, Not Safe For Baby Boomers.

What did you think of the movie?

Thanks for reading,
Your Favorite Blogger,

PS- Edited because I forgot a link.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Happy 4-20!

I cannot explain the why or the depth of my hatred for pot.  So for all you stoners, on your day, this is what you all look like to me.

This absolutely gets added to my list of things that will never stop being funny to me.  It's a long list.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Marathon Music Monday

And of course the theme today is  RUNNING!

And even though that sign is 2 blocks from my house, I live and work on the same side of course route, so I have to work.  That combined with other responsibilities means I am being a bit of a humbug.  So I am writing this post instead of cheering on runners, like a good Bostonian, or a good sports fan.  #23043 is a friend of mine and good thoughts go out to him!

I am so glad the weather held out.  Friday night it looked like it was going to be low 40's and rain.   But low 50's and sun is nice for everyone.

We'll start with The Boss.

Then a flash back to the mid-90's with fat lead singer Blues Traveler.

Kate Bush & Dave Gilmour - Running up that Hill  (Heartbreak!)

Van Halen - Running with the Devil

And we'll close out with the most appropriate of them all...

Fugazi - Long Distance Runner

The farther I go the less I know 
One foot goes in front of the other
It all boils around to not hanging around
To keep moving in front of the gravity
The answer is there the answer is there
but there is not a fixed position
It keeps moving along so I keep coming along
and that's why I'm a long distance runner
and if I stop to catch my breath
I might catch a piece of death
I can't keep your pace if I want to finish this race
My fight's not with it
It's with the gravity
Long distance runner

Everyone who runs today is a hero, and all who finish are Super-Heroes.

Friday, April 16, 2010

TTFN: Fan of Ben

For those not aware, I occasionally contribute over at Gunaxin, today I will suggest that the best contributor over there is Ben.  Today's list has three from him.

100. 10 Cool Things from Skymall.  We start with the man and get right into it.  Skymall is so full of awesome it hurts.  Packed randomly with stuff I can't believe people actually buy.  Ben won't admit it, but he's bought half this list.

  • This is the world’s only swim mask that has an integrated waterproof digital video camera plus photographs at 5 mp
  • 16 mb nand flash ram
  • Operates to a depth of 15-feet / 5-metre and eliminates the need to hand carry an underwater camera
  • Ideal for snorkeling or swimming pools

98.   29 Semi-Productive Things I do Online.  Really?  You do all of these things?  And you expect us to believe that you apply any of these things?  Bullshit.  Go but to World of Warcraft, loser.

  1. Create a cool graphical mind map of some of my recent ideas at
  2. Email a close friend or family member I haven’t spoken to in awhile.
  3. Backup my recent photos, documents, and other important files online using Microsoft’s free 25 gig SkyDrive.

88.  100 Movies to see before you Die.  2012 looms folks, cue up the netflix now if you don't want to be judged negatively by Siskel at the pearly gates on judgement day!  Of these 4, I have not heard of half of them.

  • 12 Angry Men (1957)

    DIRECTED BY: Sidney Lumet
    STARRING: Henry Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, E. G. Marshall
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

    DIRECTED BY: Stanley Kubrick
    STARRING: Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood, William Sylvester
  • The 400 Blows (1959)

    DIRECTED BY: Francois Truffaut
    STARRING: Jean-Pierre Leaud, Patrick Auffay
  • 8 ½ (1963)

    DIRECTED BY: Federico Fellini
    STARRING: Marcello Mastroianni, Anouk Aimee

78.  15 Nerdy Characters Who Could Easily Destroy You and Who Also Just Happen to be Gay.  Gay Nerds are such a threat to America that Glen Beck's big toe just exploded.  Tribute to recently saved Batwoman.

6) Batwoman from Detective Comics

Batwoman premiered to much media ballyhoo. Everyone was interested in the fantastically hot, red-haired lesbian crimefighter. But then she disappeared for a while, finally resurfacing in Detective Comics a few months ago. So, far, the new Batwoman has been focused on infiltrating and destroying the Religion of Crime. She has also teamed up with her former lover, Renee Montoya, in her guise as the new Question. There are still a ton of questions about this new Batwoman, but one thing is for sure: If you commit crime in Gotham, she will stomp the living crap out of you.

71.  The Secret Code Names to 37 Blockbusters.  Because people will charge you extra if they know you are on location for a sequel.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: To disguise the Chamber shoot, the film was known by the title of a 1973 Bruce Springsteen song, Incident on 57th Street.

68.  10 Creepy, Beautiful Modern Ruins.  This list is top to bottom tragically gorgeous.

Abandoned British Sea Forts

During the Second World War, the British Royal Navy constructed a series of sea forts for an advanced line of defense against inbound air raids and potential sea invasions from the Axis powers.  The Maunsell Sea Fortsstill stand today, silent and abandoned a few meters above the North Sea.  One, however, remains inhabited, now a nation of its own referred to as the Principality of Sealand.  These sea forts are a favorite of maritime explorers, a lonely collection of stilted fortresses not far off the coast of eastern England. [see more photos of the Maunsell Sea Forts by slimmer jimmer]

61.  Top Ten Most Dangerous Toys.  Stew isn't too bad either.  I did not know there was ever one of these.
Power Wheels Motorcycle
Man, danger sure looks like a Hell of a lot of fun!
Generally when offering your child a number of wheels on which to ride, most parental learning groups suggest the largest number of wheels possible. In fact, twenty to thirty is best. So, the Power Wheels motorized toy vehicle production company said (and I quote) “Bite me, parental groups” and offered the fewest number of wheels while still providing a modicum of balance. That’s right, two. Oh sure, bikes are the same thing, but bikes don’t go upwards of forty miles an hour with an incredibly hot engine on which children can, and did, fall thereby charring themselves ridiculously. Awesome.

58.  50 Clever, Hilarious, and Geeky Twitter T-Shirts.  Yes this list needed THREE adjectives, it is just that super, awesome, and cool!  But I like a couple of these shirts, so suck on my hypocrisy.

48.  Mensa's Top 50 Websites of 2010.  Ask and Bing?  I thought these guys were geniuses?®®


38.  Top 10 Things You Should Know about JRR Tolkien.  Number 11, he is the anti-Stephenie Meyer.

3. He loved his day job.

To Tolkien, writing fantasy fiction was simply a hobby. The works he considered most important were his scholarly works, which included Beowulf: The Monsters and the Critics, a modern translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and A Middle English Vocabulary.

31.  Top Ten Songs about the Death Penalty.  Ben strikes again, this time with a heavy dose of Metal, and the man in black.

25 Minutes to Go
Johnny Cash
Written by Shel Silverstein and sung by Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison and The Brothers Four. Also Joe Bean.
Well they’re building a gallows outside my cell and I’ve got 25 minutes to go
And the whole town’s waitin’ just to hear me yell I’ve got 24 minutes to go…

28.  Top Ten Man Tears Moments in Boston Sports.  I linked to the top 5 because they got this part right.  The bottom half is ugly and way off.

5. Red Sox Come Back To Beat Yankees In The ALCS (2004)
I didn’t shed any Man Tears when the Red Sox were down three games to none. This is expected to happen. The Sox are supposed to break our hearts and leave us dry of Man Eye Moisture.
This is what they do.
Just like the 2003 ALCS, they push the series to seven games just so Aaron “Bleepin” Boone could break our wills and dreams with one swing of his bat.
So I was mentally prepared for another let down, but I guess the Sox didn’t read that same old script.
Down in the ninth in Game Four against the best closer in baseball, the Sox tie it.
Then David Ortiz wins it in extras and does it again the next night.
Then Curt Schilling and his Bloody Sock dispatch the Yankees in Game Six.
One problem, I am going to be on a plane to Seattle for Game Seven!  Damn the Baseball gods!
After surviving certain death over the Rockies, I broke out my radio to try to catch any signal and get a score (hope the FAA is not reading this). Nothing!!
The pilot finally came on the speaker and said Sox up 8-1 in the sixth. The plane exploded in the good way, in cheers!
They better hold on until I land!
Before the rubber hit the landing strip, I called my mom and got an update.
Mom says “Sox are up 10-3 in the ninth with the Yankees up!”
I say, “Oh my god! Who is up?”
She says, “The skinny guy.”
I respond, “Can you be more specific please?”
“Ruben Sierra and he just grounded out! The Red Sox are going to the World Series!”

18. 5 Reasons TV Guide Loves Olivia Munn.  They don't quite get it.  But the interview they did with her was worth the read.

11.  20 Things You Didn't Know About Light.

14  Visible light makes up less than one ten-billionth of the electromagnetic spectrum, which stretches from radio waves to gamma rays.
15  Goldfish can see infrared radiation that is invisible to us. Bees, birds, and lizards have eyes that pick up ultraviolet.
16  Photography means “writing with light.” English astronomer John Herschel, whose father discovered infrared, coined the term.

1.  Gunaxin's Top Ten Top Ten Lists.  Ben rules.  I remember the shit-storm that this list caused.  Holy Crap that was funny.  They are Muppets people!

3 The Ten Worst Muppets
Yes, even some Muppets suck.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Things - A test post

Re-thinking and re-planning so as I play around with formats and gags deal with these few things from today.

Crazy Co-worker song of the day:
Everyday my crazy co-worker has a song stuck in his head, and he takes to hear the lessons from Sesame Street by sharing the song with us, all day.  Today, it was the Macarena, and yes, I too follow what I was taught in Sesame Street.   I am nice because I give you the Animaniacs.

Speaking of nice, not-nice is sharing with you the Epic Time Suck that is The Most Awesome Thing Ever.  Please come back and finish reading my blog in an hour or 20.  Coda

There is a guy named Randy, and he is full of hate.  This wasn't actually from today, but I had to sit on it to make sure he got past the cliches.  He has and it's gotten good.

I have found the saddest and scariest Facebook group.  Armed Forces Tea Party.  Honestly guys, are you ok with balancing the budget by cutting the military budget in half?  Are you upset that Obama stopped lying about how much the wars were costing?  Where is the outrage over how much in Taxes Exxon paid this year?  (NONE!)

Sleep Taking Man is a blog by a woman who records her husband talking in his sleep.  Funniest thing you will read all day.  I promise.  Coda

Lastly, Geek Cubed.

And yes, the Top Ten Friday Night will be happening tomorrow.

Friday, April 2, 2010

TTFN: More More More

Up front kudos to Metafilter, Nerdcore, and The Great Geek Manual.  And we have a good one tonight folks.

100. Ten Greatest Modern Recreations of Ancient Technologies.  Any list that makes mention of Thor Heyerdahl is a winner!

The Kon-Tiki Expedition
Although most works of experimental archaeology have focused on Northern Europe, what really put the field on the map was the 1947 voyage of Kon-Tiki from Peru to Tahiti. Led by Norwegian explorer and amateur anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl, the voyage was meant to prove indigenous groups from South America could have settled the Pacific long before the European age of exploration. His five-man crew used descriptions from Spanish conquistadors to build what they saw as an authentic South American sailing vessel, which they then successfully navigated over 3,000 miles into the Pacific. The 1951 documentary of their exploits, also called Kon-Tiki, won an Academy Award and is up above.

98.  Five Artists that May Have Actually Been Con Artists.  This is the mock spot, but tonight I mock, not the list, but those who make up the list.  These people took things way too far.  Way.  Too.  Far.

Jana Sterbak

In case you were worried this whole thing was going to be a list of bodily fluids in art, fear not! Jana Sterbak’s preferred artistic medium happens to be cured flank steak. No, she’s not a chef, and she’s definitely not at all familiar with how a barbecue works.
Experts claim her works deal with issues of control, power and sexuality. Having reviewed her idea of artistic expression, we’re pretty sure Jana’s a psycho who will one day be found tossing hand lotion to plus sized girls living in a pit in her basement while muttering about soft skin and getting out the hose again.
Jana’s made a number of these meat based commentaries on modern day life, including Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic, which is basically 60 lbs of raw steak stitched together and then salt cured and allowed to air dry. Its processing is all part of the statement, as is the cloying stench of rotting meat that has to fill the air as it hangs on a mannequin over the course of the exhibition.
meat dress

93.  7 Rules to Break in NYC.   A vain attempt at either living like a rebel or like a local, both of which are over-rated.

Turnstile Jumping

…or what I like to call, the gate squeeze. Turnstile jumping is risky, yes, if you are attempting it in front of an MTA employee, but squeezing multiple people into one of the gates is risky AND is a much more physical feat of strength. And therefore much more interesting to me. Okay, so I corrupted some minors once or twice in the form of the two kids I was a nanny for, but we didn’t have enough subway fare! So we did the gate squeeze and only shelled out $2 for all three of us. Setting a good example? Perhaps not. Forming lasting memories? Definitely.

86.  The 500 Worst Passwords.  If you have to change your password after this, then you fail at life.

79.  10 Most Gratuitous Shower Scenes.  Not one these helped to advance the plot of the movie.  Wait, I take that back.  Crucial foreshadowing took place in the shower scene of Starship Troopers.

Jessica Alba in The Eye

It's something we'd all been waiting for, and for so long... that's right, the chance to see just the tiniest bit more of Ms Alba – Into The Blue wasn't enough, and this scene should just about do. Kind of. Maybe. 

66.  50 Who Made DC Great.  Not a list so much as a comicbook!  Available for download.

62.  8 Wonders of the Solar System.  This is a slide show, but you can trust that my including it in this list means it is worth every single click.

The Rings of Saturn
You are cruising in the troposphere of Saturn under the most magnificent ring structure in the solar system. Few sights are more astounding. The white, icy rings soar 75,000 kilometers above your head. Ringshine illuminates everything around you. No fewer than six crescent moons rise in the sky. The light from the setting sun scatters against a mist of ammonia crystals, forming a beautiful sun dog. You are buffeted by ammonia clouds that stream by you at speeds greater than 1,500 kilometers an hour. These are some of the fastest winds in the solar system. More than 30,000 kilometers below you, with pressures no human-made thing could survive, is a global ocean of liquid metallic hydrogen. There will be no landing on this planet.

55.  1000 Inspirational Niche Twitters you should Follow.  The best part about this list, is the sub lists.  They broke it down a bit, so you can scan and use the list more effectively.

The funniest 25 ‘Twits’ you must follow right now

Sure Twitter is all about hot trends and flash news, but maybe you also wanna have some fun in those 140 characters: And you’re damn right! We need to get some laughs! So here it is: we just finished our list of the funniest 25 Twitter accounts ever. Follow them and feel no pain!

48.  10 DVD Commentaries You Must Hear.  We all know that most of these are boring and they manage not only to suck the life out of the movie but also whatever cool things went into making the movie.  Also, The Matrix was a terrible movie and I cannot believe actual philosophers would waste their time on such derivative crap.

2) Quentin Tarantino -- True Romance

Some people like to give Quentin Tarantino a tough time for his eccentricity and hyperactive nerd personality. Personally, I think he is the most entertaining and knowledgeable person in the entire entertainment industry. When you listen to him talk movies, there is no way to get distracted. He requires complete focus and intent to learn when he speaks. Naturally, when Tarantino talks throughout a film he wrote, you’re going to get a lot of good stuff.

Not only is he one of the most proud filmmakers out there, but this is (at the time of recording) his own best work. During the famous Christopher Walken/Dennis Hopper conversation scene, he goes off about how that story came about and why it is so great. he then proceeds to stop talking and watch the scene.

According to Tarantino, this is the most personal script he wrote. There is more of him in it than any other he wrote and he would have sold it for the lowest possible amount just to prove to himself he was a real writer. It’s fascinating to listen to one of the most impressive and enjoyable filmmakers gush about himself only moments after bashing his ability.

35.  Top 10 Muppet Mash-ups.  These are Muppet videos with completely different audio tracks.  I could not resist Peaches, so it is most definitely NSFW audio.  It was that or a Rick Rolling.

31.  Top 10 Books Written by Librarians.  Hell yes!  Libraries are in danger right now, and it is important to support them.

The Accidental Tourist
The Accidental Tourist
Anne Tyler

This former librarian won the National Book Critics Circle Award in 1985 with this novel.

24.  50 Movie Cars.  Calling this a list is more of a stretch than calling some of the cars on the list cars.  It is actually an infographic, but a cool one.

17.  Top 20 Nods, Cameos, and Easter Eggs in Alan Moore's Top 10.  I think one of the biggest reasons for Moore's popularity is his need to reference things he likes in his works.  You could scour all of his works and come up with an endless list of references.  

20) Meet the Beetles (#12, page 4)
Looks like Beatles in the Top 10-verse consist of guys who look an awful lot like Blue Beetle, Beetle Bailey, Marvel's Beetle and Ringo from the animated Yellow Submarine movie. 

10.  The 10 Meanest Tricks That Games Ever Played on Us.  This whole list is win!  I remember getting to the end of Karateka!  And that bitch kills you.  Oh, I was so mad!  I was trying to save her and she kills me!  Because I wasn't man enough for her.  WOMEN!

2. Super Mario Bros. 3

Princess Toadstool has a sick sense of humor. In the first Super Mario Bros., you traversed treacherous worlds to rescue her, only to hear that little bastard Toad say you got the wrong castle. At the end ofSuper Mario Bros. 3, she walks out and delivers the same old line, leading you to believe that there’s another, even more difficult, castle ahead.
Assuming you haven’t smashed the console in anger at this point, the leader of the Mushroom Kingdom goes on to say that she was just messing with you. Oh, real funny, lady. Real funny. –Chris Baker

1.  Top 10 Black Albums.  Remember that when you click this link, your computer is not broken and those pictures did load.   And of course I choose Joy Division.

6) Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division, 1979. The cover art represents 100 successive pulses from the first pulsar discovered. Deduct points for having cover art. Serious bonus points for not listing the track info or names on the back or on the album itself. They didn't even put "Side One" or "Side Two" on the record.

And thus ends my first full week of blogging in a long while.  It was fun, I think I'll do it again.