Thursday, January 7, 2010

Thursdaytron: Top Ten Blogs I'd Love to Start

Alright, each year I break one of my rules for this blog and post a top ten list.

1) A photo blog of Small Women walking Large Dogs.  I'd give it some dumb marmaduke type name to it as well.

2) Then we have the opposite photo blog: Large Men walking Small Dogs.  This blog would be tough to do, because I would not be able to stop laughing.  You have seen these guys around and you do laugh at them and their stupid ugly small dogs that you want to punt, because they are ugly annoying and are not at all masculine.  Stuff the rat in a bag loser! (I am not at all unbiased on this issue.)

3) Stripper Dance  - Wait don't judge me yet!  Hear this idea out.  I want to video tape real strippers doing the dumb dances.  The lawnmower, the Cabbage Patch, etc.  It would also be an instructional guide so they'd be teaaching you how to do these dumb dances.  Why strippers?  Because I think it would be funnier, draw more traffic, and I'd have a large, but contained pool of people who I'd get videos from.

4) The Pig Latin Blog  - Ok, the gag is self-explanatory, but there needs to be a context.  What am I going to write about in pig-latin?!?!?!  Sports? Geek? Politics? I need a subject matter for this one.  Help!

5) Ridiculous Diet of the week  - As inspired by the Taco Bell Drive Trhough diet.  I'd start off just mocking dumb diets I read about, but would move onto to finding people to try these things AND some of my own creation. Very very mean, this would be the least nice blog out there and would get me into a shit-ton of trouble.

6) Whole Grain Invasion  (or whole grain backlash) - sibling blog to the diet blog.  I hate all of this whole grain and whole wheat nonsense.  There is nothing wrong with white bread and white flour!  Too much of it is bad, true, but so is too much of anything.  I do not need or want whole wheat hot dog rolls!

7) Mock ESPN - I have not come up with a winning name yet.  The idea is that ESPN does a lot right, and a lot wrong.  This blog would be there to keep a constant stream on criticism aimed at ESPN to help keep their egos in check.  It won't be anti-espn, just anti-stupid shit.  There is a difference.

8) Marching Band Covers - Self-explanatory!  I just watched the Cotton Bowl and got Oklahoma State covering Bohemian Rhapsoody then Ole Miss covered Come Sail Away.  I think I could talk my wife into helping out on this one for me.....

9) Learned it From twitter.  I've done a couple of these posts.  And it would make a good daily blog all by itself.

10) The Nice Blog.  There is too much hate and negativity on the internet.  I want a sanctuary for being nice.  I will say nice things about things no one else will say nice things about, and hi light others who've said nice things. Of course I am a sarcastic SOB, and a very good one so I will toe the line expertly and let people figure it out.

If anyone wants to help out with any of these ideas, email me and we'll see if we can work something out.

Bonus:  11) There's a cat on my lap!!  Just photos of cats sitting on peoples lap.  I'm telling you, this one would be big, and would get me my book deal!
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