Sunday, January 17, 2010

One Sentence Movie Review: The Book of Eli

This is a photo review.  Saw this bumper sticker on my way to see the movie.

My GPS is Jesus Christ

This movie was horrible, but it seems people are liking it.  The preachy / bible stuff did not bother me.  If you saw the trailers and have half a brain then you would know that was a part of the movie.  For me there was zero character depth, not one character in this movie changed.  Well maybe one, but that person only changed because that person finally could.  Had that one person not changed it would not have influenced the movie at all.  

The story was neither action packed nor thought provoking although it desperately wanted to be both.  There is a validity to a movie being one or the other.  You don't need to be both.  There is nothing wrong with a turn your brain off horror or action movie.  There is also nothing wrong with a deep heavy Indie movie.  This movie tried to be both and failed at both.

Technically this movie was horrible.  The blue-screening was shit.  I could have done better on my computer. You don't need a huge special effects budget, you just need to do the ebst you can with what you have.  They did not.

The story was weak and boring.  Guy goes on journey, guy gets there.  That was it.  No tension, no drama, no struggle, just painfully obvious plot point after painfully obvious plot point.   Possibly the most predictable and transparent movie I've seen in a while.

Sure, Denzell played a cool badass, but he wasn't cool enough to overcome the rest of this movies issues.  And Gary Oldman phoned it in.  Worst performance of his career.  It was like they hired the best Gary Oldman impersonator they could find and loved it.

Do not pay a penny to see this movie.
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