Sunday, July 19, 2009

Top Ten Friday Nights: Hates Monday Mornings as Much as You

A little late.  With 4 other posts cutting ahead of it.  You waited, you longed, you worried for it, but here it is in it's absolute lack of glory, or readers.   Thanks to the regulars  The Great Geek Manual, Nerdcore, Superpunch and AlyK.  Not only providers of content but inspirations as well.

100.  Best Close Calls from GI Joe.  Holy crap did this carton suck.  I loved it, but it was horrible.  HORRIBLE!

Timber saves the day.

98. 30 iPhone Apps With Sexy Interfaces.  All flash and no substance, wait it's an iPhone there is no Flash.

Tipulator ($0.99)

Take the guesswork out of restaurant tipping. Enter the bill amount, select a percentage, and Tipulator will calculate the tip. And it’ll split the check among friends.
I'm sorry, completely retarded.  Tips in your head for dummies: Look at your bill, move the decimal point over to the left on place.  If you liked the service double that number and that is you tip, tip more or less depending upon circumstances.  If that does not work, USE THE FREE CALCULATOR THAT COMES WITH THE DAMN iPHONE!  Once again, the "i" stands for idiot.

91. 26 Life Affirming Movie Deaths.  A twisted but touching list.  Part of our cultural heritage, all of these are.

Bambi - Bambi's mother dies
Don't look back. Keep running Bambi, keep running!!! Dear god this couldn't be a more traumatic experience, I cried tears of venison over this when I first watched it, I was 25. It's devastating stuff, when Bambi turns around and...*sniff*...his cries for mother fall to the uncaring ground just like those snowflakes. WHY-HY-HY!!! I felt like Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes. It's a hymn to loss, a lament to the cold cruel hands of death that snatch away our beloveds. But don't let it depress you.

88.  Ten Cars that Brought Down Detroit.  No the car that brought Matt Millen into town is not one of them.  Overall a good list although the last two are flat out wrong.  The Grand Cherokee and Explorer were not bad for Detroit, not using the money generated from them to compete in other ways was.  Warning, slideshow.  But worth it for the write-ups.

Pontiac Aztek

3. Pontiac Aztek

Once GM truly lost its way, there was some discussion by management about the best path back to relevance. Upon reflection, the automaker’s managers decided that making its mainstream brands appealing to young consumers was the answer. While this was a shrewd concept in practice, the idea was garbled in execution, like a room full of kids playing the telephone game, passing on a message that eventually loses its meaning.
Management ordered up an adventurously styled crossover SUV for Pontiac, the GM brand with the youngest customer demographics. But what emerged was the most uniformly pilloried vehicle since the Edsel: the 2001-2005 Pontiac Aztek.
With time running out on its finances, and just as the crossover SUV boom was taking off, GM missed its chance to convert a new generation of buyers to its cause by producing a car design that repulsed its target audience. Instead of capturing the imagination of America’s youth, the Aztek has gone down in history as one of the ugliest cars ever made.

86. 100 Geeky Places to Take your Kid this Summer.   I've spent many a field trip at ...

Old Sturbridge Village - Sturbridge, Massachusetts. Experience early New England life at one of the largest living history museums, with a large staff of historians in costume, 59 historic buildings on 200 acres.

78.  50 Proofs that God is not Real.  Warning I do not take this site seriously and did not read more than 3 proofs.  Your beliefs are yours, and if I have an issue, I'll take them up with you directly.  None of this "all religions are wrong" crap.  However, this was funny, and kind of true:

Proof #39 - Realize that Jesus was a jerk
Most Christians have a warm, loving image of Jesus. Jesus is the "Prince of Peace" and the "Lamb of God" in their eyes. Jesus is a perfect, sinless being. But is this image accurate? If you had never heard of Jesus before, and you decided you wanted to learn about him by reading the Bible, what sort of person would you discover?
The dictionary defines a jerk as a "foolish, rude, or contemptible person" [ref]. Another dictionary throws in the word "fatuous" as well, and then defines fatuous as, "vacuously, smugly, and unconsciously foolish". [ref]
Given these definitions, can we make the case that Jesus was a jerk? Let's see what we find when we look at God's word.

70.  How 16 Electronics Companies Got Their Names.  Spot the filler.  Some of these anecdots are cute and may win a bar bet in the future.

14. Coleco: The video game kingpins of the 1970s and 80s (and the people who brought you Cabbage Patch Dolls!), Coleco was originally a company that sold shoe leather. The name Coleco is a shortening of “Connecticut Leather Company.”

68.  10 Smartest and Dumbest iPhone Apps.  My wife bought herself and iPhone this week, forgive my pandering to her, she's not reading this anyway.  And for some reason they left the tip app from above off their stupid list.  That was dumb.

Rate a Fart 2.0 screenshotStupid: Rate a Fart 2.0
They say: "We are confident that this is the best fart app available on the app store to date."
The Reg says: "Best fart app"? Talk about damning with faint praise. Rate a Fart, though, is a highly versatile gas-manager: relish a library of over 700 farts, then record and upload you own farts and share 'em with your friends. Web 2.0 meets intestinal discord.
But despite its farty finesse, this app is for folks who either find stupidity diverting or have embraced it as their lifestyle.
RaF's FAQ, for example, includes this stupid Q&A: "Q) Is a poop a fart? A) No. Don't record your poops." C'mon, we could have told you that.
Price: 99¢

$600 piece of high technology turned into a glorified fart joke machine.  Isn't mankind special.  Jr High never ever ends, I am fully convinced of this.

59.  25 Reasons Non-Douchebags Still Watch Entourage.  Apparently a show I have never watched nuked the fridge somewhere along the way.

To feel good about being taller than every person in Hollywood.

58.  6 Movies with far more Depressing Alternate Endings.  Oh my, some of these completely change the whole movie.

2. First Blood

A 6-disc special edition box-set released in 2008 of the original Rambo film featured an alternate ending that could have changed the entire course of Sylvester Stallone’s rise to fame, then fall from it, then rise and fall and rise again. The original cut ended with Col. Trautman tracking down a blubbering Rambo who begs for death so he won’t have to be arrested. The Colonel refuses, but Rambo thrusts the gun into his belly. The Colonel fires. Rambo dies in slow motion.

53.  Top 5 Surprises of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.   I'm a book perosn, but it's a big deal so here it is.

There will be a lot of talk about the humor of this film, how it focuses on teen romances and even pratfalls rather than the usual dark meditations on evil and coming-of-age. And while Rupert Grint's the best comedian in the bunch-- look forward to seeing him struck by a love potion-- the real surprise is Daniel Radcliffe, who gets to cut loose when Harry takes another kind of potion that makes him feel, well, a little drunk. In the book Harry was full of purpose and energy after drinking the potion, but Radcliffe's version is a bit more manic, and way more fun, than we've ever seen him before. It's a brief scene, but maybe the freshest of the whole series.

48.  Top 10 Supporting Characters from Harry Potter.  Missing Peeves, they must not have read the books.

Dobby the House-elf
Yes, well. Where to start with Dobby, who has to rank up there with the Jar-Jar Binks and Scrappy Doos of this world as one the most insufferably irritating comedy sidekicks of all time? Perhaps some of the blame in this matter should go to Chamber Of Secrets director, Chris Columbus who must have seen the little dork as pure merchandising gold, and ramped up his screen time to the max accordingly. Going head-to-head with Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers' Gollum in 2002 - both films were released within a month of each other - for the Groundbreaking CGI Goblin-Thingy Award of the Year didn't help the poor bugger much, either. And yet, love him or loath him (with most people firmly in the latter camp), Dobby's legacy within the Potter saga is beyond dispute. He is, without doubt, one of the series' most memorable turns.
However, the Dobby backlash and (relative) commercial trouncing by LOTR(estimated at around $100 million at the US box office) not only signaled the Potterfilms' switch to an eighteen month release schedule (Azkaban was thus released in the summer), but saw the directorial reigns passed over to less saccharine-obsessed hands. Providing the catalyst towards the high water marks of Prisoner Of Azkaban and Goblet Of Fire. Also, the rumour persists that Dobby's face was modeled on ex-Russian president, Vladimir Putin, which, if you look closely, can just about be seen.

38. Top 10 Model Moon Rockets.  The Satrun V was an impressive thing, wasn't it?

Saturn 5 Rocket Model 1/48 scale

28.  5 Direct-to-DVD Sci-fi Sequels that Never Should Have Happened.  They should have just done the Trilogies you were not aware of list instead...

3) The Butterfly Effect 2  
 Two years after The Butterfly Effect did nothing to challenge the perception of what an Ashton Kutcher movie could be, an unsuspecting video renting public with time on their hands was graced with The Butterfly Effect 2, which, like the other entries on this list, has little-to-nothing to do with its predecessor. While the original entry in this "series" wasn't necessarily anything to write home about, The Butterfly Effect 2makes Ashton Kutcher's Donnie Darko wanna-be look like a joint venture between Orson Wells and Charlie Kaufman. 

19. The Most Badass Female Pilots of All Time.  Such a damn good list.  Most of the women listed are tougher than any guy in their show/movie.

Starbuck fromBattlestar Galactica.
As I said before, these are in no particular order — but if they were, Starbuck would be #1 in any list. She's clearly the best pilot among Battlestar's flyboys and -girls. Adama always refers to her as his best pilot, and she pushes herself harder than anyone else. Kat may have tried to challenge Starbuck's impressive kill rate, but she never really had a hope.

18.  Top 10 Worst Superhero and Villain Costumes.  So very true on all of these.  Especially....

6. Scarlet Spider

Laziness rears its ugly head again as we get to another ‘90s offender. Imagine Spider-Man’s costume without the fancy webbing--r the blue. Oh yeah, and he’s got a ripped up, midriff-bearing sweatshirt on and in a nod to the 1970’s Spider-Man TV show, he wears his webshooters on the outside.
Any costume that allows a villain to defeat you by pulling your drawstrings until you choke is one that shouldn’t have made it out of Aunt May’s basement in the first place.

11.  101 Frightening Ice cream Flavors. 3 interesting ones and many puke worthy ones.

52. Squid Ink Ice Cream. If the idea of Squid Gut Ice Cream seems unpalatable, perhaps Squid Ink flavor is more of a tentacled taste-bud tantalizer.

8. The Daily Show's Best Harry Potter Moments.  Video removed because Viacom sucks and they don't know how to code their embeds properly.  And I am not fluent enough nor patient enough to figure it out.  The vids are worth watching though.

1. 50 Fattest Players in MLB History.  The best part about this list is how many of these guys you know due to there athletic acomplishments.

I had to go with Mo Vaugn.  Come playoff time he always displayed his Mike Greenwell power.
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