Sunday, July 26, 2009

Top Ten Friday Night: Right Now!

Rare afternoon coffee, cat in lap and ready to post my often late weekly countdown dump.  Why am I obsessed with these lists?  Because it is the only way to keep me from bombarding you with stupid lists of my own creation.  We are not talking the lesser of two evils, we are talking about one evil being the size of a cockroach, and the other being the size of a whale.  I have been on twitter less than 24 hours and I think more people have read my tweets than my blog.  2 squared by 5 by 7 = readers???   Thanks to Twitter I may have a new source for your weekly countdown of countdowns.  This is only the beginning of my selling out.  Time to stop pretending I have a soul, or values, or morals, or ethics.  If I want to be a writer I need to whore it up!  Or maybe I am just relaxing a bit so as to enjoy life a bit more.

Kudos again the usual suspects: The Great Geek ManualNerdcoreSuperpunch and AlyK.

100.  8 different Ways to Get Nutted.   A cartoon ode to Bob Saget and Tom Bergeron.

98.  Top 10 Famous Film Guns.  We will take my views on guns out of this and just laugh at the sheer and utter lameness of this list.

No.1 - .44 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 29

Dirty Harry, 1971
It’s a fact of science that nobody has ever handled a firearm without uttering either the “Do I feel lucky?” speech or the famous line: “Go ahead, make my day.” We know, the second line is from Sudden Impact, which features another gun (the .44 automag), but the image of “Dirty” Harry Callahan brandishing this monster revolver remains the most famous firearm in cinema. Both quotes were in AFI’s top 100 movie quotes of all time, with “Make my day” taking sixth spot, and “Do I feel lucky?” at No. 51. In fact, in a poll of movie weapons by FOX, the .44 came in second to only the lightsaber. Among guns, however, this handcannon to end all handcannons reigns supreme, nearly 40 years later.


92.  8 Moon Landing Myth's Debunked.  By National Geographic, not the now science free Mythbusters.

Strange patterns of light partially obscure the upper left part of a picture of Buzz Aldrin setting up a foil sheet for collecting solar particles near the Eagle.

You can tell Apollo was faked because ...those mysterious reflections come from studio lights on a production set.

The fact of the matter is ... it's highly unlikely NASA would make such an obvious blunder if they had spent millions of dollars to fake the moon landing, Plait said.

"Okay, let's take a step back. NASA's going to release a picture showing studio lights? Hello!" The odd lights in the picture are simply lens flares," he said. "There's a big fat pentagonal one right in the middle that is from the aperture of the camera itself."

87.  Top 40 Badass Movies of the last Ten Years.  Not bad, but how does Battle Royal not end up in the top 5?

Battle Royale

18. Battle Royale (”Batoru rowaiaru”) (2000)

The strength of Battle Royale is one awesome idea. The film focuses on what happens when a group of high school students are sent to an abandoned island to kill each other. And you thought your high school years were rough! In the end, there can be only one, so it’s literally survival of the fittest.

86.  21 Artists who changed Comic Books.  I include it just because.  But it lost all credibility here:

15. Rob Liefeld
One of the most polarizing figures in the modern comics industry, Rob Liefeld is the punching bag of choice for many discerning comics fans. But he’s also the man who defined what the 1990s looked like in superhero books, so he’s crying all the way to the bank. For every detractor who thinks he’s the worst thing to happen to comic books since Fredric Wertham, there are a dozen ravenous fanboys ready to snatch up whatever he does next. Liefeld burst onto the scene in the late 1980s, and became a star with his distinctive work on several X-titles; his visual style was so recognizable it instantly became self-parody, with tiny feet and heads, gargantuan muscles that had no analogue on the actual human body, and pouches, pouches, pouches. He had legions of fans, even though he couldn’t actually draw; when he—along with Jim Lee, Todd McFarlane, and other controversial artists—helped form the creator-owned Image Comics in 1992, the world learned that he couldn’t write, either. Since then, it’s been revealed that he can’t do much of anything else. Still, there’s no denying that the guy owned the 1990s. It was a strange decade.

85.  10 Species of Angry Commenter You Encounter on the Web.   Ah Cracked, have you ever let us down?  Nope!  And they do not this time either!

The Angsty Unfunner
This is the most common of haters, and what most people picture when they picture hate mail. The Angsty Unfunner has spent too much time interacting on the Internet and has learned that thinking anything is funny is a sign of weakness. What makes him special, though, is that he tries to be funny himself. Let's take a look at this note from, sigh, PuddleofAids:

PuddleOfAids Says:
Uck.....that was tenfold cunty factor. You should publish "Learning with Super Mario - Shoving Your Dick Into a Meat Grinder". It would probably be much more entertaining and intuitive than that article. I officially stamp it: EPIC FAIL! Sorry der Chet, better luck next time.
Being funny is harder than it looks, isn't it, AIDS? Here's a fun fact: When amateur funnymen in Internet forums try to describe something they don't like with a comical analogy, there's a 63 percent chance that they're goint to put a penis into some whirling blades. I think it's because we all grew up with such bad similes in our music that our analogy centers got stifled. With lyrics like cuts like a knife, burns like fire, hungry like the wolf... we're lucky our brains can even relate two disparate concepts together.
Over the years, I've received hundreds if not thousands of emails like this, both kind and fussy, who think the secret of comedy is ground dick and MADLibs. I actually have a folder called "Cheese Weasel" that searches for emails that contain the words "cheese" or "weasel" and keeps them safely away from important ones. Those words literally appear in every stream-of-consciousness sentence that "hilarious" people have ever typed at me. You probably won't be able to use this knowledge until you start your life as an Internet writer; I'm simply letting you know that people like PuddleOfAids are miserable black holes of joy even when they're in good moods.

77.  A Crapton of Moon Links.  Not a list, but damn there is enough there to keep any Luny occupied for hours.

"The Apollo 11 Conspiracy": 6% of Americans Still Believe It Was Faked: "After a successful touchdown of Apollo 11 on 20th July 1969, the Pope asked for a color television to be installed in his summer residence, while West Germany announced they were calling the day of the landing 'Apollo Day' and school children in Bavaria were given the day off Meanwhile some 40 years later some still think the landing was filmed on a Hollywood Backlot. "

67.  Top 30 Zombie Movies as of RIGHTNOW!!!   If you have heard of more than half of these, then I am impressed, with your hunger for brains.

Boy Eats Girl#25. Boy Eats Girl
Seventeen year-old Nathan is in love with Jessica but he just can't pluck up the courage to ask her out. To make matters worse, Samson the school bully is convinced that Nathan is making moves on his flirtatious girlfriend, Cheryl...
75.71% Approval
(Based on 7 Reviews, Write one )

66.  Best Movie Moon Landings.  While we are celebrating the 40th Anniversary of the moon landing, the movies have been landing on the moon for over 100 years.

Cat-Women of the Moon (1953)
Armstrong and Aldrin may have found nothing more than a barren landscape when they landed 40 years ago, but the space men of Cat-Women of the Moon found, well, cat-women, wearing black leotards. And giant spiders, too! Though the acting here was entirely two-dimensional, the movie was originally made in 3-D. The lunar approach begins at 5:09.

59.  12 Very Disturbing Paintball Teams.  When I start a cult we are having a paintball team.  Which will be too scared to play any of these teams.

57.  10 Completely WTF SIM Deaths.  I have never played this game, and I need to say that Death having a cell phone is creepy.

47.  Top Ten Most Expensive Movies Ever Made.  Shockingly there are a couple decent flicks on this list.

7. Quantum of Solace (2008), $200m

Craig’s second outing as Bond may not have seen temperatures rise quite like the first, but the costs certainly went through the roof. However, after earning £50 million in product placement and grossing $1.8billion at the box office, it proved to be the highest earning Bond film to date.
40. Enjoy your Brand New Camaro!

Ok, So I'm tired of seeing people with issues this far into production and after so much qaulity control! WTF, right? But I've witnessed worse with 1st year model from other makers. So somone earlier had a post saying something about making a CHECK LIST for issues with our new cars(to be in my case). So here we go people let's start posting all known issues that we as new car buyers/owners need to beware of and check on when we recieve/'d our car(s). Please I would appreciate it if people did not start random discussion I would like to take this thread seriously and make a solid CHECK LIST this will help all people who actually care about their new Camaros. THANK YOU...

37.  The 40 Most Beautiful Hollywood Women (Right Now).   The numbering of this list was done by somebody blind or they were picked from a hat.  At least they got this one right.  Sienna Miller is a top 10.

9. Sienna Miller

Present Hotness: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Past Hotness: Factory Girl
Future Hotness: Hippie Hippie Shake

27.  10 Most Amazing Rapper Yearbook Photos.  Truly awesome.

7. Snoop Dogg
What? Did you expect cornrows, and a spliff in his mouth? Snoop didn't have time for all that. He spent all his time in the Young Businessman Club.

21. Top Ten Evil Geeks in Movies.  Now that it is cool to be a geek we should remember that geeks can be bad guys too!

theo9. Theo (Die Hard)
Mercenary nerd, serving as a combination hacker-safecracker. One thing’s for sure, he can’t take a lick — Argyle the chauffeur takes him out with one punch.
Geek Cred: Cracked the multilayer security protecting Nakatomi’s vault.
Villain Cred: Too nerdy to kill, but happy to be an accessory to murder.
Quote: “All right, listen up guys. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except … the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.”

17.  Ten Things Your iPod Won't Tell You.  My posting of this may soon become ironic.

2. “Customer service is a privilege, not a right.”
Customer service isn’t what it used to be. According to Ross Rubin, director of industry analysis at the NPD Group, companies across the board are pushing “more self-service” to cut costs. But even so, he says, Apple is “pretty aggressive in terms of the consumer electronics industry.” IPod buyers, for example, get just one call to customer service during the first 90 days of ownership; each one after that will cost you. (If you want more phone time, the AppleCare Protection Plan offers unlimited calls for two years and doubles the one-year warranty.)

11.  10 Memorable Comic Book Ads.  Comicbook Ads sure have changed a ton over the years.  They are light years from what I saw as kid in the '80's.  Viva La Mego!
Mego Action Figures The world’s greatest superheroes helped make Mego a memorable company in the 1970’s.  Their ads for their line of 8-inch figures were everywhere in the pages of DC and Marvel, and the toys were widely popular.  Ads in comics were used to both tease us with future releases of popular characters and to encourage us to run out to stores to pick up Shazam, Batgirl, Iron Man and the Green Goblin.  Sadly the company folded in the early 80’s, but the toys, and the comic books featuring their ads, live on.

1.  Top Ten Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episodes.  I could debate this list over and over, but #1 was a no brainer and they got it right.  I do however love this episode and the way they justified the song and dance routines.  And of course Buffy would end up in the #1 spot!  SMG = Teflon!

6. Once More, With Feeling 
Season 6, Episode 7 (2001)
I'll admit I am a big musical theatre fan and when they announced there would be a musical episode of Buffy, I'll admit I did go a bit fan girl over it and Joss Whedon really did manage to pull it out of the bag.
On a routine patrol Buffy can see that something is up when all demons she comes across are singing and dancing, and she is soon belting out her own number. The next day, the gang all confess that the same thing happened to them, and while trying to figure out what's causing this to happen, they see the entire town is infected and singing to the world about their innermost feelings. While Xander, Anya, Tara and Willow have plenty of fun dancing and singing around town, Dawn is kidnapped by the demon, Sweet, who is the cause of all the hoopla. As he believes she summoned him, he wants to make her his queen.
Singing about your feelings isn't all it's cracked to be, though, and soon Tara finds out Willow cast a spell on her, Buffy finds out Giles is leaving to go back to England and the gang find out that, rather than saving Buffy from hellish torment, she actually was in Heaven. With everybody's secrets out and Xander admitting he summoned the demon because he thought it would be fun, Sweet leaves. As the spell starts to wear off, the gang sing about where they go from here, but it ends on a kiss between Buffy and Spike.

Next week: A new source of lists.  I think.  I got from it today and I hope this is a regular thing.  I will be so happy since the source is 1000% awesome.  I'm not jinxing it by saying anything else.
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