Friday, May 8, 2009

Top Ten Friday Night: Lives long and prospers.

Yes, we are working off a Star Trek theme this week.  Don't blame me,  I take from I can work with and these are the ones I can work with.  So there.  As always if you have a suggestion make it  really obscure or something that was posted that week, and send it to blogDOTpbiATgmailDOTcom.   Wow doing that was kind of fun, makes me feel like I get a ton of spam and want only readers to email me.

As always, thanks to usual suspects.  The Great Geek Manual, Nerdcore, Superpunch, and Awful Announcing.

100.  Seven Coolest Moments from Star Trek Movies.  Notice something missing?  ANy movie with the TNG cast.  Ouch!




7. Tour of the Enterprise (from Star Trek: The Motion Picture)
I don't recommend the first movie version to start with because of its glacially-slow pace and the silly yet serious nature of the plot, but the slow pace actually works in its favor during this early sequence. Kirk returns after a three-year absence to take command of the U.S.S. Enterprise, which has been recently rebuilt and floats in dry dock. For fans, the ship looks beautiful and glowing, the ideal of what it should look like. For newcomers, it's an introduction to a versatile spacecraft build for speed.What makes it cool: Kirk's eyes as he beholds the ship that he loves. And the knowledge that his next adventure is just beginning.


94.  Top 25 Hottest Teachers that were Sex Offenders.   Hot for teacher?  Be careful because some hot female teachers can be just as creepy and gross.  Remember kids, sometimes fantasies should stay inside your head.




debra_lafave_5

3. Debra Lafave

Perhaps the most notorious female sex offender in recent years, Lafave is a former teacher at Angelo L. Greco Middle School in Temple Terrace, Florida. At age 18, she briefly worked as a model for magazines. Provocative modeling photographs of Lafave had circulated on the Internet since she first gained notoriety.
Her Crime: At age 23, Lafave was charged with statutory rape involving a 14-year-old male student in Angelo L. Greco Middle School.
Verdict: Three years of Community Control (house arrest) and seven years probation, along with various other requirements.

93.  Extraordinary Clocks and Watches.  These are beautiful, amazing, and scentific.  Just a wonderful page of art.    Some are also just plain fun.

If you don't like numbers, time can be told in phrases - check out the "Tubular Time" word-clock - order it here:


(image via)




Combine it with a Danger Bomb alarm clock, that requires your full concentration:


 



88.  Top 7 Classic Moments from Spelling Bees.   E-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-i-n-g!!




Numb Nut?
 



This was classic.  And the best part is that there’s no way this kid ever used the word numbnuts before.

76.  Top 5 Star Trek Villains.  They forgot Q, but that's ok.

The Borg
Image: The Borg
Resistance is futile, but surrender isn’t much better when it comes to the assimilation-centric Borg. The cold, detached bio-technological race sought perfection by forcibly absorbing other civilizations into their drone collective. That process included lopping off limbs, removing superfluous eyes, and doing away with whatever other bits of body the Borg deem worthless in favor of cybernetic implants and built-in weapons. And since emotions don’t play a part in an effective hive mind, the Borg eagerly destroyed those who interfered with their genocide-for-the-greater-good plan. There’s virtually no way to best them, unless of course you’re a Starfleet captain, in which case bringing down the entire Borg nation is a doable endeavor — if you’re willing to spare a few red shirts and some of your own factory-original parts.


72.  15 Housing Projects from Hell.  Looks like none of this list is from America, Viva La Trailer Park!  This picture hurts my eyes, but the words hurt my brain.





Anyone who has been to Hong Kong will have been , stunned, depressed to see these anonymous gigantic housing blocks. The amazing thing is that these are owner occupied rather than social housing.


64.  Planetariums from the USA.   From ugly to beautiful.  America occasionally gets some things very right.




Strasenburgh Planetarium

Since its opening in 1968, the Strasenburgh Planetarium has been greater Rochester's dependable source of clear, accurate information about astronomical events, space missions, and breaking news of the universe. photo credit RMSC.org
Strasenburgh Planetarium, Rochester Museum and Science Center, Rochester, NY – Opened in 1968, the Strasenburgh Planetarium is a favorite among those who live close to upstate New York.  It houses the first Zeiss Mark VI planetarium projector, which it still uses today.  The projector, although 40 years old, is nonetheless capable of projecting 8900 stars, the moon, and our nearby planets as they appear to the naked eye under perfect viewing conditions.  The Strasenburgh Planetarium is also credited with being the very first planetarium to be computer automated.

59.  Ten Things Learned from Attending Conventions.  This type of list will never get old, because geeks are weird!

9. Star Trek fans think big. Every year, York farmer Tom Pearcy creates the world’s largest maze in his field of (ahem) maize crops, and - when I visited - he’d cut an impossibly complex 35-acre depiction of the Starship Enterprise, a Borg Cube, Captain Picard and Mr Spock into the hillside. I paid £5 to enter and spent the next three hours attempting to negotiate my way back out again. With my girlfriend, three mates, and the family dog. In the pissing rain. The following year, he reclaimed the world record with an equally impressive 40-acre tribute to The Spy Who Loved Me.

41.  Top Ten Most Annoying Sportscaster Lines.  I have to agree with most of these.  This job has got to be one of the best paying non-skilled jobs out there.   Ron Artest joke ftw!




10. Naming the body part instead of the injury
“Out three weeks with an ankle.” Damn, I have two ankles. Does that net me six weeks? In an industry where people are paid to fill air time whether or not they have anything to say (see Kornheiser, Tony), do we really need this sort of truncation and/or laziness? Fun for jokes and Top 10 lists, though. “Ron Artest is out for the season with a brain.”

32.  Top 10 Mud huts Yurts, Tents, and an Igloo with Satellite Dishes.  Oh my.   Words, I am at a loss for them.  File under: Truth, stranger than fiction.




A small image, but apparently and unbelievably - real.

21. Space-racism is bad: And 17 other not-so-subtle lessons learned from Star Trek.  A moral in every episode.

5. Be cautious when introducing new lifeforms to your eco-system—even super cute ones (original series, “The Trouble With Tribbles”)
When Uhura brings an adorable, furry little tribble back to the ship, the immediate reaction is friendly: Tribbles coo, and their sound and feel is very soothing to humans. But little did the crew know that if you feed a tribble, it will immediately begin to asexually reproduce—and the more you feed it, the more tribbles you’ll end up with. The creatures eventually begin to take over all available space on the Enterprise, getting into the grain supply and eating it all up. That turns out to be a good thing, since the grain had been poisoned by a devious Klingon. Still, everyone learns that a starship is no place for a tribble to live, and Scotty cleverly uses them to mess with the Klingons—he beams the lot of them into their engine room.          
 



11.  Top Ten In Living Colors Characters.  Ah the 90's when both Jim Carey and the Wayans' were funny.  This series was awesome and it is nice to see how much of it stands the test of time.




#6 - Head Detective

Damon Wayans portrayed the polic detective who was left with nothing but his head, hands, and feet after a terrible accident.  He’d fight crime with his partner like a real life Mr. Potato Head.                


2. Top 2 "Out There" Star Trek Licenses.   To boldly go where no man ever should.  EVER!!  Oh my.  Pictures are worth thousands of words:


and this awesome screen cap I took the first time I saw the second item on this list.


Star Trek Frangrance + Need a Local Girlfriend = You still not getting laid.


1.  Poets Ranked by Beard Weight.   Believe it or not this is a very scientific list, perfect for all the beard connoisseur out there.  Side Note: My friend Bre is a serious poet.  It's time for me to break the bad news to her that she has to grow a beard if she really wants to make it big.  Thing is she might do it.

Portrait of Walt Whitman, 1878
Walt Whitman (1819 – 1892)
Beard type: Hibernator
Typical opus: O Captain! My Captain!
Gravity (UPI rating): 22
Who knew Gandalf was a poet?
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