Sunday, March 1, 2009

Watchmen Review

Read the comic first.  The movie did not suck.  I thought it would.  It was however not awesome.  It was literally and figuratively a journey into self pleasure for die-hard comic book geeks.  The movie is the Sex and Violence Cliff Notes of the Comic.  the comic is that bloody and that sexual, but there is more to it than what you get in the film, and that depth will create many misconceptions about the book.  The film will also move back the argument that Graphic Novels are a form of literature.  An argument that the comic form of Watchmen makes so well.  If you read the book first you will remember the depth and all that is not shown, but if you don't you will see this as the worst pulp crap that comic books have to offer.

Let's do a blog-gag run down to make sure sure the wrong people don't see this movie.
Don't see this movie:
If you are under 17.  Sex and violence that would make Tarantino blush.

If you have issues with the song Smack my Bitch up.  This movie does not just smack her up, they kick her up, rape her up, and shoot her pregnant ass up.  These are used better in the comic as character/plot devices. Again they are points made in comic form that there is not enough time to make in the movie.

If you don't want to see a giant fluorescent blue schlong.  'Nuff said.

If you liked Frost/Nixon.  The Nixon in this movie is annoying and horribly acted.

If you hated Christian Bale's "Batman Voice" from The Dark Knight.  Rosarch does a spot-on impersonation of this, and he narrates most of the movie.

If you saw the preview and thought "What is that!?!?!  That looks cool!"  It is, but it isn't.  The previews are misleading.  I saw several people in the crowd under 17, and one or two under 13.  Not for kids or the feint of heart.

This movie is not a blockbuster, it was made for geeks, and most geeks will love it.  I liked it, but they made it for people just like me.  It was hard for me to not like it.  In fact my issues with it are more based upon my waining interest in Movies in general.  Movies and America's obsession with them are starting to bother me.  The format has severe limitations and I feel like I am shouting into a hurricane whenever I mention them.  It's worth the $10 IF you have read the comic.  If you have not read it, do not bother, unless you like violent sexual movies.
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