Saturday, December 20, 2008

EUBUA 12-21

Let's get back to being Eternally Useless But Utterly Awesome.   Apparently, and you can do your own legwork on this, alka-seltzer can be used to ease cramping.  Makes sense when you think about it.

Dr. Pain and Amy Freeze are real people who's destiny's were pre-determined by their names.  Seriously check out her myspace.  Is it just me or is that the creepiest sentence of the 21st century so far?

Don't worry, B Happee.  And call me perverted but this is funny!

You didn't know this about Nancy Reagan did you?


I could use this in a 100 of the Batmobile.

More evidence that baseball players are not athletes!


So very wrong.  Do not click if you are in any way easily offended!  I am not responsible for your choice to click that link.

Imagine if this happened to you at school.  The class would laugh, you'd feel like a loser and the whole thing work against any hope of esteem building.  kudos

If time adds value, then all I have to say is WOW!  Poor Tron-ites.

Too much time + Ability to use a welding torch + Being insane = The Coolest Thing EVER!

And don't forget to wish your xmas tree lights a happy 126th birthday on Monday!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Third String QuarterBack

All sports posts have moved.  There new home is over at Third String Quarter Back.

Last picked or odd man out, just as it's always been.  But I still have a point of view and I'm still going to share it.  Go enjoy the launch post NFL Cthulhu.  And all of my future BCS Defense and Steroids Hall of Fame posts.  What is here will stay, and has been cross posted, but new sports posts will stay there.

Why the split?  Because I want to have a blog with a focus.  This one is nice and I enjoy dropping all of madness here, but I do want something with a theme and that can be categorized.  It's a Sports Blog.  Sure there are a million, but none like mine.  So instead of my madness being the purpose, it's the difference.  It will help me build an audience.  This is for me, that one I actually want people to read.

The Steroids Hall of Fame will go back to being a weekly feature.  The BCS defending shall be as random as it always is, but usually during football season.  I do, however, have a very painful surprise in store for the off season.  I am sure you'll hate it.  It is mean, and ugly and will piss people off, because it is true and no one wants to admit it.  The NFL Cthulhu will be a semi-ongoing thing if I can find more pictures of what is a very common thing.  (Help please!)  And I will bring back my Mock Madness for it's second season.  There are other things I want to do as well, but these few things will keep me active and will justify it's own space.

There may or may not ever been another idea that justifies it's own space.  Because separation means a level of seriousness that this space will never ever get.  This is a playground for my amusement alone.  Any other blogs I do will be places I want people to come and visit.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The 100: Tetris

Every once in a while history gives us an obsession.  Something that consumes our time, our money and our lives.  There have been epidemics of these obsessions going back through time.  Opium, Heroin, War, Cocaine, Alcohol, Gambling, Porn, Church, Money, and of course  TETRIS.  So I give to you today a historic summary of Tetris obsession.  Chosen for you, by me, are 100 things about Tetris that need witnessing, for good or for ill.  
They are in no particular order, and are by no means a comprehensive list.  I have missed some things, intentionally skipped some things and I know that the moment I hit submit some jerk will post something cool that would have been included here.  So understand that I will deal with these things later, so leave links in the comments and I will eventually use them and give credit to you.

1) We'll start with the Wikipedia entry.


3) You can play it online here.  Look I could do a 100 on just places to play tetris online.  I picked one at random and I'm going with it.  It's not the best, it's not the worst, it's just the first one I came across.

4) or you can visit the official website.



6)  Buy your love a bracelet .  On second thought, by your ex a bracelet.

7) Don't play with your food.  I don't care how creative you are.

8) Little Big Planet gets in on the action:

9) Group Halloween costumes can bring friends closer together, by spreading the embarrassment around.

10) Decorate your backsplash!

11) Nothing on the internet is complete without a T-shirt .  At the end of days that is what the Internet is truly for.  Not for information, not for porn, not for communication, but for selling t-shirts!

12) Icetris.

13) Oscilloscopetris

14) The warm and fuzzy truth.

15) Me, I prefer my Tetris in a fully playable wall-sized LED version.

16) Are you daring enough to download a playable version of tetris for Excel from this creepy Japanese website?  It take cajones or a disregard for the health of your computer.  In my case I'm preparing to re-load windows XP and start over so I took the risk.  It was kind of fun.  Shift is to turn, and the arrow keys do the rest.  For the ultra daring there are a ton of other games here.

17) Even major corporations use Tetris to show off.

18) Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the geekiest of them all?

19) And if you are going to use that mirror, then you HAVE to use these shelves.

20) And I was mistaken a bit earlier.  This is what you should get for the woman you love.

21) And if the woman you love would appreciate that necklace then you have a woman who will help you raise a wonderfully geek-baby.  And what better way to start than with a baby blanket.  A binky you'll enjoy forever.

22) So you may be asking yourself, "Where can I live with a tetris wife, raising a tetris baby, in my abode decorated with tetris mirrors and shelves, drinking out of glasses filled with tertis ice cubes?"  Duh! Viva Slovenia!

23) I need to learn how to build toward a dramatic climax better, because I have just made these look terrible lame.

24) Ah Puma, always trying so hard be cool.  Yes, apparently sneakers need their own news website.

25) It is time for a snack break.  All this blogging is making me hungry.

26) Apparently Tetris can be defeated.  It is a video worth watching.  Two words: Invisible Mode.

27) Magnetris.

28) The softer side of Magnetris.

29) Cue Beastie Boys reference here.  And if you can't make the correct reference you suck.

30) Hacking gets a bad rap, this is really what hacking is all about.  It's about the limitless possibilities of computers and all things with a computer chip and a screen attached.  Ok so maybe it really is about pointing out flaws or potential avenues of evil.  But man that just looks fun!  Someday I will learn to read first, link second.

31) Awesome kids furniture.

32) No these are not pillows, just soft blocks, but man etsy is a great/scary place.

33) I am not going to try to explain papercraft , because I can't do it justice.  It is NOT oragami on crack, although that is a starting point for describing it.

34) Not actually a Tetris inspired item, but still cool as hell.  It is a clack that is more like an hourglass with blocks that really do just happen to resemble tetris blocks.

35) Tetris the Movie.  Watch the trailer here.

36) Lite Brite gets in on the Tetris action.

37) Second Life wants in too!  Scroll about halfway down.

38) Tetris teaches us a valuable life lesson.

39) Which Tetris Block are you?  I am

If I were a Tetris block, I would be a L-Shaped Tetris Block!

I am flexible, creative and innovative. I can be used in a variety of ways, for many different purposes; I'm probably bisexual, or at least I sleep around a lot.

Use me right, and I will make your world a better place.

Analyse your personality in Tetris Blocks!

I did not know that was a "sexuality" quiz.  It is a bit off, as I am married and unavailable.  I do apologize and I really do need to read before I link.  I'm going with it though.  I am sticking with this one because I have accidentally stumbled upon much much worse things, without trying, I sear!  The world is a scary place kids.  Look both ways before crossing the internet.

40) The history of Tetris.  Most of you should know this story or have heard it before, but it is still fascinating.  And I felt that the wikipedia entry and the official site did not tell the story as well as this site did.

41) 99 blocks is like Anti-Tetris.

42) Here is a video of Tetris being played on a building.  Apparently this has been done several times, but this was the first working video I found.

43) Epic Tetris Conspiracy.  It is not random!

Thus far I have been kind.  But my kindness ends right here.  Skip the next twelve posts if you do not want the Tetris song stuck in your head.

44) Mandolin

45) 1980 Casio Calculator

46) Metal

47) Download the ringtone!  See I am not a total jerk.

48) The Simpsons.

49) Song about Tetris Pieces.

50) Techno

51) Honda Ad

52) Piano

53) Mario Paint

54) Glass Bottles

55) YTMND Tetris DS.

It's safe to click again.

56) Click here for another t-shirt!

57) Cool ad for office furniture.

58) Geek Vandals!

59) A Tetris Tattoo

60) The article makes no sense, but the picture is cute.

61) Wikitris, seriously, what doesn't have it's own wikia these days?  Apparently though, this wikia has 1 lonely article.

62) Tetris Happens, a variation of a life lesson we learned earlier this post.

63) Don't mess with Tetris!

64) World's sexiest skirt, if you are a geek.

65) She'd be even geekier if she had her ipod in this.  I know bag should match the shoes, not the skirt.  Forgive my dumb male moment.

66) Too far, but so damn cool!  Laser Tweezers are now my new favorite thing, ever.

67) And too far in a different direction.

68) It's a video game level based upon a videogame!  How meta!  (3/4 of the way down the page)

69) Messenger Bag.

70) LOLtris

71) Teach your kids (yourself!) to save with a playable tetris piggy bank.

72) An ancient riddle has been solved.

73) This explains it all.  MC Escher has been F*ing with us this entire time.

74) Awesome.

75) Tetris, the Webcomic.

76) Another Tetris comic.




80) And of course Tetris has a blog and of course it is not in english.  Thank you Google Translate!

81) And found from the Tetris Blog, we have the Negative Motivation Project.  Yes it's a whole gallery of the game over shots.  It's even better because it's all in black and white too.  Beautiful.  Painful, but beautiful.

82) So let's see, we had a baby blanket, a quilt, 2 different t-shirts, a blanket, a skirt, sneakers, what are we missing?  Oh I know!  A scarf!  And thanks to translating quirks, we find out that a Scarf, in English is a Scarf!

83) A point of view on Tetris that should make you cry if you have a soul.  That's right I so did not cry!

84) Oh my that blog is a bounty of wonderful things, including a nice little touch to Google Translate.  Apparently on the right hand side of the screen if you scroll down just a bit you'll see a bunch of flags.  If you have navigated around the tetris blog a bit you'll have lost your translation, well just hit that American flag and it will translate it for you.   Here is some Love, tetris style.  Again a life lesson taught to us by Tetris.

85) More Love.

86) 2 comics that need NO translation, although speaking french would make life a bit easier.  But a picture is worth a thousand words.  Click for yourself on that one.

87) When I was a kid, we had an Atari 2600.  My mom played it as much, if not more than anyone.  She rolled both Pac-Man and Space Invaders.  She yelled for joy and called me into to see one of them and at the time I did not realize what an accomplishment it was.  This person obviously understood the magnitude of their achievement.

88) NEXT

89) Awesome Tetris easter egg for cannon calculators!

90) Chocolate!

Which upon closer inspection looks to be a the game that tetris was inspired by.

91) These girls are Yankees fans, so I am committing a sin by linking them.  But then I realize the Yankees finished 3rd this season and things aren't looking good at all for next season, so I shall have pity.  :D  Besides their blog is titles: Girls Playing Tetris.  The coolness and appropriateness of that overrides baseball.  For this one moment in time I shall let Tetris bring us together in geekdom.

92) Tetriscize!

93) Go meets Tetris.  It helps if you are familiar with Go, but still fun.

94) A note to those worried about a terminator-esque robot apocalypse.  They are teaching AI computers how to play Tetris.  The end is nigh.

95) And of course Lego was going to get in on some this action. Watch through the end of that video.

96) Cartris.  A case for French usefulness if ever there was one.

97) Torontris.  Capital of Tetristan.  I did not want to crash your browser so I kept the embedded videos to a minimum.  This one was a must though.  And I apologize for not making the "We built this city" joke.

98) Sexistrist! No really the game is totes sexist.  I demand you stop playing it immediately.  It's all the fault of that damn phallic piece.

99) I'd be ashamed of myself if I failed to link to This Day in Geek History.  The important days to me are: January 29, 1988.  The release of Tetris for the Commodore 64.  And June 4, 1989.  The introduction of the Gameboy bundled with Tetris the pair that was so important to nearly everyone who's reading this.

100)  Last but by no means least.  I will close this out with Tetris clothing FTW!

Note: I jacked all these photos and videos, but I am pimping your crap so stop crying and don't ruin my post.

I knew this idea would be relatively easy although time consuming.  But man has it been worth it.  It has been enlightening, frightening and just WOW.  I hope you have enjoyed this journey into Tetrisopia.  I know I have.